The Ninja Pizza Thief
Valkrys is the queen of the stealth food thieves, but she doesn’t openly table surf, snatch things off counters or other blatantly obvious means of eating your food. Oh no, not the ninja queen! She takes pride in her ability to sneak up on you, and when you are least expecting it, to share your food without you ever knowing she was there.
The pinnacle of her prowess was demonstrated one day by our friend and neighbor “Boo”. Boo spent a lot of time at our house, as his house was rather crowded with siblings, and James and Boo loved to play video games together. On this particular day, Boo had brought over his own food, namely a box of pepperoni pizza. Some adult friends were over, so Jim and I were in the other room entertaining our guests, Valkrys happily by my side as she nearly always was while I was home.
In his need for sustenance while frantically thumbing game controls, Boo thought he would be able to get more eating time if he put his pizza box on the floor next to him. Between games, he would grab a couple of bites and shove the box closed to play.
Somehow in this distraction, Valkrys managed to creep quietly out of the room Jim and I were in, to the livingroom where Boo and James were playing, open the pizza box, and abscond with half a pizza with no one the wiser. It was only noticed between games when Boo went to get another slice of pizza. A loud and outraged “Hey! Who took my pizza!?” resounded through the house and Valkrys skirted around and hid behind me. It was only then I noticed the last piece of pizza being slurped in to her mouth as she tried to hide the evidence. I felt bad for Boo, but couldn’t help laughing out of my chair. The pizza box was in front of him by his left knee and he never saw her. For consolation I bought him another pizza which he wisely kept towards the rear of the counter in the kitchen while eating from it.
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